just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize