There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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