Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dicks are not precious.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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