Having a random hookup so left but love u
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
