New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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