i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
