No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
