thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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