he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
