quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
