It's Friday. Sex?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
