dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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