We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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