please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
