I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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