i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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