Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
