She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
