There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
