mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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