So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
