you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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