I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
