I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
