Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
