I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
