I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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