How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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