she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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