when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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