Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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