you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i was born a porn star she said
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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