you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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