____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
