i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
