you guys were way drunker than both of me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
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