what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
