I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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