Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
