She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
