I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
