I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
