he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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