Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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