Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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