just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
