So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
