u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
