just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize