It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
