Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
