I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
