oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize