My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize