I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
