I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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