upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
