the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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