I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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