Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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