bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
