You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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