I just made out with a guy for $7.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
